On Self-Love

So cringe to say it, to use it.
What is self-love? How does it manifest in my life?

Self-love is making a decision to bring yourself peace.
A choice to take a moment to reflect and know what is the truest action you can take that doesn’t betray your sense of wholeness and grounding.

That usually feels a little uncomfortable, scary even.
That feeling that’s a little “off,” in that scary-but-exciting-because-you-know-it’s-your-path kind of way. That’s what brings you a step closer to womanhood and to wisdom, to the wise woman within.

Because you don’t need to be an elder to begin letting the wisdom that’s already available to you shine.

And what’s womanhood?
It is the unraveling of your core truth, of your essence.
The transmutation from an outward-seeking girl to an inward-searching and divinely connected feminine being.

Divine connection comes through the awakening of our own wisdom; the whispering desire to feel whole, to be grounded, not in anyone else’s whirlpool.

And quietly but consistently, we walk a path of curiosity into what truly lies within all the layers we experience:
all the masks we carry,
all the roles we play.

And then there’s the paradox:

I am here reflecting on divinity and wisdom
and in between phrases I’m stirring a pot of food to have lunch ready for tomorrow.

But finding divinity, calm, and self-compassion within this humanness
is partly what it means to love yourself.

Connecting to the feminine being is not about suddenly attempting to look like what we believe feminine should look like.
It’s about allowing ourselves to be. Authentic. Real.
Withholding judgment of whether we might seem inadequate, too soft, too strong, too much, or too little.

It’s giving ourselves grace and self-compassion,
and making room to explore our fears, judgments, and darkness;
giving these a voice, understanding them with empathy,
and letting our bodies trust that what we feel will help us heal and set us free.

It’s letting ourselves cry, sob, and weep. Wildly.
It’s breathing without thinking, just letting the body take the lead.
It’s moving our bodies through their natural flow and rhythm.

Sometimes self-love will be counterintuitive.
Sometimes being a fountain of softness and love for a child
is the way to not just go beyond self-love, but be love.
The kind of love that doesn’t flicker, that isn’t dependent on someone’s reaction or response,
but is grounded in the divine knowing that in being love lies our liberation.

But in this dual world, we return to the cycle of this reflection.
Loving a child as a woman is not the same as loving a toxic partner unconditionally
at the expense of your own peace and truth.
Because without self-love, we mute ourselves.
We don’t want to rock the boat.
We accept crumbs.
We cling to the ephemeral feeling of love they seldom gift us.
A love that is only a mask, hiding manipulation or self-serving need.

The practice of self-love means we choose to speak up and have the difficult conversations.
We choose to be honest with ourselves and to recognize what we truly want.
We choose not to carry the experience alone,
but to let God, the Universe, Spirit, or Mother Nature carry it with us,
so it transforms from a load into a lift.

It means we choose to find peace with our own inner guidance,
and to listen to it.
We will have blind spots, and we won’t be perfect.
But that’s not the point.
We become our inner child’s loving big sister and firmest advocate.

And we keep choosing to come closer and closer
to what we always knew deep inside.