On this journey of praise, I have found refuge in different ways of spiritual connection. A powerful force came in the form of music. During the years that I lived in Bangladesh I encountered Lalon philosophy, the mystic baul music and experiences which held a Divine thread for me.

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The first time I ever experienced that was one night in Kushtia, where the shrine of Lalon Shah is located. I had spent the whole day with a friend, Reza Bhai. Reza is a baul from Kushtia, a man who shakes your consciousness through his presence, his words and his good heart. Someone who has always shown the same smile and willingness to create meaningful moments.

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I had spent that day with him at “the hatchery” - an old fish hatchery, that had been converted into an oasis. It was a small piece of land, surrounded by a lake. It was full of trees, and full of details. It was a haven for artists that experimented with the space. There were sculptures of respected baul, there were masks made of dry banana leaves, there were cryptic painted pots in between the vegetation, and an easel always standing waiting for an inspired hand.

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It was also a meeting spot for the baul. These are followers of Lalon Shah, who live by his philosophy, and who connect through the sounds of Lalon music and his lyrics. It only took one person to begin a song, for the whole group to join.

One would continue singing, while others would pick up traditional folkloric instruments – one would pick up the tabla, someone would pick an ektara, with luck there would be a dotara and perhaps a flute. The instrument that would never fail to be present was the mondira. These are two small metal discs that make a clinking sound when clapped together and keep a steady triplet feel.

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Because I love flamenco and have grown up clapping my hands to that music, there was something that felt quite familiar about clapping my hands for rhythm, even if it was with metal discs in between. And flamenco music from Spain is a magic alchemy of ancient sounds, some of them coming from the region of the world where Bangladesh is, so something about the musicality was also familiar.

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I loved to spend time there. I would observe and experience their music, but never participate, since it felt like it was not my place. Until one summer evening, when the stars were already out, and Reza and a friend of his who played tabla beautifully, started playing. Reza sang in the quiet night, and the percussion started accompanying him. Reza began to play the mondira, but quickly turned to me and offered them for me to play with them.

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There I was, a music lover and truth seeker being invited to be part of a transcendental experience. Because it was not just three people jamming. It was three yearning souls connecting to something higher. Together.

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The usual paralysis I felt every time I thought of playing an instrument in the presence of other people vanished. Because I was at ease with them despite their mastery. It was not ego-centered music. It was a soft-hearted attempt to connect. Reza sang with his heart. Eyes closed. Repeating the words that Lalon himself was inspired to write. And I began to softly play the mondiras. My flamenco clapping turned into improvised mondira clinking, and all I ever remember doing was feeling the music as it transformed from each one of us, into a unison experience hard to describe.

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Moment by moment I was feeling uplifted, as though my hands were not being directed by my mind. I was feeling the transcendence of sound, and I was feeling surrendered by the effortless beauty of what was being created through us. It was the moment when I understood the power and divinity of music. Reza made sure that I did not forget that moment, so he gifted me my pair of mondiras that I so cherish.

That was the day when I lost my shame to playing music. There might be embarrassing moments at times, and I might mess up here and there when I am playing and in my head. But if I can connect to that beyond-ness that I know exists, then I can feel that transcendence through me again and experience that divinity that makes everything else fall into place.

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Thank you my friend.